i've spent significant part of my life arguing with idiots. Mostly, the hacker type of programer idiots. When in argument, most of the time, i know what they are talking about, they dunno what am talking about. That is the thing.
when did this start to happen? i think it's around year 2000. Before that, one could consider i'm a learner. A eager one. Read all the stuff i can get my hands on. Have lots questions. Often frustrated by those who don't know what am asking.
after 2000, when i'm master of perl and unix tech, servers, networking stuff, i started to lash out at the hacker idiots. That's when, people started to call me a troll.
i introspect a lot. that is to say, to a degree that's considered pathological. (it's one of the characteristics of schizoid personality) So, on this issue, i've considered, to extremes, from whether i'm a idiot, or they are, or, what exactly is happening, why does it happen. Like, a deep analysis, of all facts and facets.
i do have some conclusions. It happens because, mostly it's a personality induced thing. That is, my personality. More concretely, unable to chichat, smooth things out, say things in a agreeable manner. But, the other thing is, excuse me for saying so, most these people are idiots. No, rather, i'm a bit ahead, like, 10 years ahead the time, as sometime that's said to some mad scientists. (of course, by saying this myself in a unashamed public way, i win more enemies and ridicule. that's ok.)
you know? you read a lot of things. No, i read a lot of things. Not just programing or math stuff, but psychology, sociology. And one of the most fascinating to me is brain washing, marketing, propaganda, influence, kinda things. Or, leadership. That fascinates me. You see? you can be a great mathematician or scientist or programer, but if you are a leader, you raise a army at your heels, willing to do whatever you want them to do. (as cult leaders, or to a lesser degree politicians) There are tons of books on these topics. One thing common in these thread, is that if you want to lead, to influence people, to negotiate, to be a smooth operator, get people to believe you, trust you (as con man is good at)… that one thing, is to not offend, and from there you can lead, or trick people, that they become your followers.
you have to follow the way people think, and smoothly go from there. persuade them, handhold them — lead them.
but that's something am not sure i want to do. That's the bottom of it. Somethings in life is not a matter of decision or choice. If you are born a harlot, you are likely to be a harlot.